You know what it's like to live like you're not alive? It feels like only you find yourself drowning with all the endless sadness. There's something odd going on but you don't notice it.
Back again to the question what is happiness? Why do I get more and more lonely as I get older? Was life this hard that I chose in the past? Why? How? What?
too many obvious questions the answers are already available.
Today I again lamented myself like a mirror on mud. Dirty, and I have no intention of cleaning myself up. Very stupid. I should have rushed to find the nearest toilet to wash this mud with clean water.
Honestly everything feels empty, empty. I should be more excited but I don't know why lately everything feels like an empty fog. I want to go home, I want to go to a place where no one knows me and I live as a new soul.
I'm just babbling unclear, if you don't like it please skip it and don't read it. Everyone has the freedom to tell stories or express their feelings, right?
I find it hard to tell my parents. They won't want to understand, since I was a child, all my problems have been solved by myself, now it's the same, all I feel and go through alone.
I am grateful that there are friends who still provide support, otherwise I might have the desire to die. Everyone will die when the time comes right.
I'm not making this up, sometimes it feels like I'm crazy. I am sad, happy, laughing all sometimes simultaneously or unexpectedly. I don't know why I'm writing so much bullshit here. May happiness always be with you wherever you are.
most importantly, stay alive to live.
